What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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