Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
