She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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