It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
