so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
