Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
