She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
