You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
