so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
