so that wasnt chicken after all
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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