So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
