It's like God shit irony all over that family
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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