i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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