Sry I called you an 8
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
