I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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