She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
