i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
