i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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