I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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