Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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