On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
