Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
