Moan for me like Helen Keller
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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