I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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