No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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