Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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