he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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