Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize