Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's no shave November. This is our time.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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