This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
