Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
