ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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