The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
