a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
