I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
