Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
