why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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