All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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