dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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