i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
