How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
