the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize