i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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