O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
