Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When are your genitals available?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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