So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
