He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
