This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
