i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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