my phone needs a breathalizer
My balls are so social today.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize