Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
