oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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