don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
