She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I need to wash the frat house off of me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
