dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Quick, to the slutcave!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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