so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
