found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
