we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize