I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
