Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
