You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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