I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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