Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
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He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
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Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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