Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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