Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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