Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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