I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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